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Tales from the Darkside: The Movie
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Wikipedia article
{{Infobox film
| name = Tales from the Darkside: The Movie
| image = Talesfromthedarkside.jpg
| image_size =
| caption = Theatrical release poster
| director = John Harrison
| producer =
| screenplay =
| based_on =
| starring =
| music =
| cinematography = Robert Draper
| editing = Harry B. Miller III
| studio =
| distributor = Paramount Pictures
| released =
| runtime = 93 minutes
| country = United States
| language = English
| budget = $3.5 million
| gross = $16.3 million
}}
'Tales from the Darkside: The Movie' is a 1990 American comedy horror anthology film directed by John Harrison, and based on the anthology television series 'Tales from the Darkside'. The film depicts a kidnapped paperboy who tells three stories of horror to the suburban witch who is preparing to eat him.
Plot
Intro
The film opens with Betty, an affluent suburban housewife and modern-day witch (Deborah Harry), planning a dinner party for her fellow witches. The main course is to be Timmy (Matthew Lawrence), a young boy whom she has captured and locked in her pantry, constantly feeding him cookies to fatten him up in time for him to be put into her oven. In an effort to stall her from stuffing and roasting him, Timmy offers to tell her a story from a book she gave him, titled 'Tales from the Darkside'.'Lot 249'
The first segment is an adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's 1892 short story, "Lot No. 249"; written by Michael McDowell.In a prestigious university, graduate student Edward Bellingham (Steve Buscemi), a collector and seller of antiques and historical artifacts, has recently been cheated out of a fellowship he had hoped to win. The winner, a wealthy student named Lee (Robert Sedgwick), was able to win after the discovery of an anonymous tip accusing Bellingham of the theft of a pre-Columbian Zuni fetish from the campus museum.
Lee and his friend Andy (Christian Slater) visit Bellingham after a round of tennis, who congratulates Lee's victory. He invites them inside to observe his latest purchase: a large crate labeled "Lot 249". Opening the crate, the trio discover that its contents include an Ancient Egyptian sarcophagus with a mummy inside. Unnerved, Lee leaves Bellingham's room and meets with his girlfriend Susan (Julianne Moore), who not only happens to be Andy's sister, but who also wrote Lee's winning essay for him and left the anonymous tip that accused Bellingham. Bellingham unwraps the mummy and roots through the incision that the embalmers created to remove his innards. He discovers that the incision contains a parchment scroll containing a message written in hieroglyphics.
Later that night, Bellingham manages to translate the message on the scroll, revealing that it is an incantation to reanimate the dead, which Bellingham recites, causing the mummy to come to life. Hearing commotion, Susan and Andy run into Bellingham, who states that a thief must be in the building. Susan uses the opportunity to plant the Zuni fetish she accused Bellingham of stealing in his dorm room. The mummy makes its way to Lee's dorm, who arms himself with a tennis racket. The mummy ultimately discovers Lee and kills him by removing his brain through his nose with a coat hanger. Returning to the dorm house, Susan discovers Lee's brain in a bowl of fruit, and his corpse soon after. She also manages to spot the mummy as it makes its way back to Bellingham's room.
The next day Susan tells Andy that she saw Lee's killer. At the same time, Bellingham is interrogated by the museum curator and the Dean of Students over the stolen fetish, the latter of whom expels him. Meanwhile, the mummy confronts Susan and slashes her back open with scissors, filling the wound with chrysanthemums. Hearing his sister scream, Andy races back to the dorm where discovers her corpse, crudely wrapped in bandages. Putting everything together, Andy ambushes Bellingham and knocks him unconscious, then ties him to a chair and douses him with lighter fluid, intending to burn him alive as revenge for Susan and Lee's deaths. Bellingham begins reciting the incantation, bringing the mummy back to life. Andy, however, has come prepared, and dismembers the mummy with a battery powered carving knife, putting its head in the fireplace. He then burns the scroll with the incantation written on it, then considers killing Bellingham, but is talked out of it. The next day, Bellingham leaves the university and says farewell to Andy, telling him that he'll never have to deal with him again. However, inside his taxi, a giggling Bellingham recites the incantation, revealing that Andy had burned the wrong scroll. Back at the university, Andy is confronted in his dorm by a reanimated Susan and Lee, who tell him that Bellingham sends his regards.
Back in Betty's kitchen, despite knowing that Timmy is trying to stall his death, Betty tells the boy that he told the story well. Timmy mentions that people will come looking for him if he isn't home by 6pm, but he is scared into silence when Betty opens the oven. Timmy manages to stall her some more by convincing her to let him read another story.
'Cat from Hell'
The second segment is an adaptation of Stephen King's 1977 short story "The Cat from Hell"; written by George A. Romero.Halston (David Johansen), an assassin, is driven by taxi to a large mansion. He is invited inside by the mansion's owner, Drogan (William Hickey), a wealthy, wheelchair-bound old man who happens to be the president of a large pharmaceutical company. In the parlor, Drogan tells Halston that he wants him to make a hit. When told that his victim is right behind him, Halston discovers that the only thing there is a black cat. Drogan offers Halston an envelope containing $50,000 and explains to him that the cat is what he wants killed, promising him an additional $50,000 if he succeeds. Halston is left in disbelief about the job, prompting Drogan states that this particular cat is murderously evil.
He explains that there were three other occupants of the mansion before the cat arrived: his sister Amanda (Dolores Sutton), her only friend Carolyn Broadmore (Alice Drummond), and the family's butler Richard Gage (Mark Margolis). Richard was the first to see the cat and had tried to chase it away, but it kept coming back no matter how many times it was scared off. Amanda and Carolyn noticed the cat and took it in, much to the aggravation of Drogan, who complained that it was putting them in danger. Drogan then claims that he was right to be superstitious about the cat, because over the past few nights, at midnight, the cat killed the others one by one. It first made Amanda to trip over itself and fall down the stairs, breaking her neck. The cat then clamped onto Carolyn's face as she slept, smothering her. Finally, the cat killed Richard (who Drogan had asked take it to the veterinarian to have it euthanized), by slashing his face as he drove, causing him to crash his car. Drogan tells Halston that he now believes the cat is to kill him next. When asked why, Drogan reveals that his company's biggest selling product, Tri-Dormal-Phenobarbin compound "G", was tested primarily on cats due to the unique quality of their nervous system. 5,000 cats had died over a four-year period of testing, leaving Drogan convinced that the cat has arrived to exact revenge.
While Halston does not believe the story, he is more than willing to kill the cat in exchange for $100,000, with Drogan asking him to bring him its tail as proof before he leaves in the taxi that brought Halston for a meeting in the city. Left alone, Halston goes hunting for the cat in an attempt to kill it via lethal injection, but the cat manages to continually evade or slash him. Halston attempts to bide his time until the cat comes around again, only for the cat to latch onto and furiously scratch his crotch. Finally, Halston attempts to lure the cat to him with a bowl of food to so he can kill it with a laser-scope rifle, but the rifle's bullet actually manages to phase through the cat's body. Halston chases after it, firing wildly, but the cat manages to kill him by leaping into his mouth, forcing itself down his throat and into his stomach. When Drogan returns the next day to see if the deed is done, he finds Halston's corpse on the floor. A nearby clock chimes 12:00, causing the cat to awaken and crawl out of the corpse's mouth. It spots Drogan and leaps onto his lap, viciously screeching at him and inducing a fatal heart attack. Having gotten its revenge, the cat peacefully cleans itself on Drogan's corpse.
Back in Betty's kitchen, Betty is once again impressed by this story, but she also mentions that her favorite stories from the book were love stories, giving Timmy an idea. In an attempt to stall her once more, Timmy offers to tell one last story: a love story.
'Lover's Vow'
The third and final segment is an adaptation of the legend of the Yuki-onna from Lafcadio Hearn's 1904 book Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things; written by Michael McDowell.Preston (James Remar) is a struggling artist living in New York City, where a stone gargoyle on a neighboring building watches over him through his apartment's skylight. He receives a call from his agent Wyatt, who asks to meet him at a bar a few blocks away. At the bar, Wyatt tells Preston that his art work is unpopular and thus not selling, and ultimately resigns as his agent. Dejected, Preston drinks heavily and becomes inebriated. The bartender, his friend Jer, offers to walk him home.
Along the way, Preston stops to relieve himself in a back alley. While Preston is occupied, Jer hears suspicious noises and reaches for his gun. He sees and shoots at something in the darkness, but ends up losing his hand and begging Preston for help before being gruesomely decapitated. Preston attempts to run from the horrific scene, but is cornered by Jer's killer: a monstrous gargoyle, which proceeds to corner him. As Preston begs for his life, the gargoyle agrees to spare him, but only if he swears to never tell anyone that he saw it, what it looked like, or what it did. Fearing for his life, Preston agrees to the promise. Satisfied, the gargoyle slashes Preston's chest as a way to ask him "Cross your heart?", then flies away. Traumatized, Preston vomits in a nearby alley. Trying to make his way back home, Preston runs into another alley where witnesses a beautiful woman (Rae Dawn Chong) nervously passing by. Still gripped by fear, he grabs her and he assures her that she will not be harmed. The woman, who gives her name as Carola, claims that she became lost while going to meet friends and was hoping to find a taxi. Preston introduces himself to Carola and convinces her to call a taxi from his apartment. While there, Preston attempts to notify the police about the gargoyle, but as he is still bound by his oath, he is forced to let the police hang up. Carola discovers the gargoyle-inflicted wound on Preston's chest and cleans it, after which they make love.
The next day, Preston briefly leaves Carola to go out for a walk. He discovers Jer's corpse being investigated by police and paramedics, causing him to hurry back inside. Still haunted by Jer's death, but also inspired by his encounter with the gargoyle, Preston begins creating various pieces of artwork detailing the creature. He is also careful to hide them from Carola, who has decided to move in with him permanently. Preston soon learns that Carola has friends in the art world, including the owner of one of the largest galleries in the city, and that she has also mentioned Preston's work to them. Preston and Carola are then invited to an opening for a display of Preston's creations, some of which are sold for thousands of dollars, That night, Carola reveals to Preston that she is pregnant with his child, and he agrees to marry her.
Ten years later, Preston and Carola now have two children, and Wyatt has been rehired as Preston's agent. Despite all of his success and happiness, Preston's memories of his encounter with the gargoyle still torture him. That night, Preston breaks down and finally tells Carola about the gargoyle, as well as the fact that it was what killed Jer and the promise he made with the creature, even showing her a miniature statue of it. Carola uncomfortably asks why Preston is telling her this, prompting Preston to admit that it's because she is the most important thing in his life, and the only thing he hasn't given her is the truth. Clutching the statue, Carola begins weeping, then yells at Preston that he promised never to tell anyone, revealing that she herself is the gargoyle.
With Preston's vow broken, Carola can no longer remain human, so she painfully transforms back into her monstrous form. The children, awoken by Carola's pained screams, huddle together in terror. A terrified Preston pleads for Carola to change back, but she says she is unable to. The children begin screaming themselves, causing Preston to discover that they too have been transformed into gargoyles. Carola wraps her wings around Preston as he proclaims his love for her. Carola says that she loves him too, but with the vow broken, she is forced to reluctantly kill him by biting his neck. Carola gathers the children and flies out of the apartment through the skylight, emitting a heartbroken wail. Wyatt, who was busy hailing a taxi, hears the noise, but doesn't bother finding out what it was. Carola is then seen perched on the building neighboring Preston's apartment, revealing that she is the same gargoyle from the beginning of the story. She and the children stare down at Preston's body with sorrowful expressions as they turn to stone.
Epilogue
Betty remarks that Timmy did indeed save the best story for last, but he says that there is one more story to tell, and this one has a happy ending. She rebuts that none of the stories in the book have happy endings, prompting Timmy to narrate that he was filling in for his older brother on his paper route, and about how Betty tricked him into coming inside. Betty soon discovers that Timmy is telling his own story, and tells him that they both know how the story will end. As Betty advances on Timmy, he narrates that he has marbles in his pocket. He throws them on the floor, causing Betty to slip and fall on her butcher's block, impaling her on her own tools. Timmy then reaches the keys to his shackles and frees himself, whereupon he pushes Betty into her own oven. The film ends with Timmy helping himself to a cookie and breaking the fourth wall by saying to the audience, "Don't you just love happy endings?"Cast
;Wraparound Story
*Deborah Harry as Betty
*Matthew Lawrence as Timmy
;Lot 249
*Steve Buscemi as Edward Bellingham
*Julianne Moore as Susan Smith
*Christian Slater as Andy Smith
*Robert Sedgwick as Lee
*Donald Van Horn as Moving Man
*Michael Deak as Mummy
*George Guidall as Museum Director
*Kathleen Chalfant as Dean
*Ralph Marrero as Cabbie
;Cat from Hell
*William Hickey as Drogan
*David Johansen as Halston
*Paul Greeno as Cabbie
*Alice Drummond as Carolyn
*Dolores Sutton as Amanda
*Mark Margolis as Gage
;Lover's Vow
*James Remar as Preston
*Rae Dawn Chong as Carola
*Robert Klein as Wyatt
*Ashton Wise as Jer
*Philip Lenkowsky as Maddox
*Joe Dabenigno as Cop #1
*Larry Silvestri as Cop #2
*Donna Davidge as Gallery Patron
*Nicole Rochelle as Margaret
*Daniel Harrison as John
Reception
'Tales from the Darkside: The Movie' was a modest box office success for Paramount. The film was released May 4, 1990 in the United States, opening in third place that weekend. It grossed a total of $16,324,573 domestically.
The film was given a rating of 43% on the ratings aggregation site Rotten Tomatoes, based on 21 reviews, while receiving an overall grade of "C" at Box Office Mojo. 'Los Angeles Times' writer Michael Wilmington criticized Harrison's directing choices ("too much ritzy film noir styling and self-conscious comic book frames") but said "theres more brain than usual beneath the blood and guts". 'The Washington Post' panned the film, calling it a "lame effort".
Unmade sequel
Laurel Productions initially announced a sequel to the film in October 1990. A screenplay was written by the first film's screenwriters Michael McDowell and George Romero, along with Gahan Wilson. Segments planned included an adaptation of Robert Bloch's "Almost Human", alongside adaptations of Stephen King's short stories "Pinfall" (originally planned for 'Creepshow 2') and "Rainy Season". This sequel, however, never came to fruition.
References
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